Run for Rett 2013

Remember yesterday how I said I had signed up for a race and forgotten about it?

Turns out I didn't forget about it.  I didn't register for it - but someone named Amy Nielson did.  The race director is a friend of mine and when she e-mailed me last night to let me know of the mistake I already had all my stuff ready and was all pumped to run the race, so I decided to do it anyway.  

This is my third or fourth year at this even, I can't remember.  I've gone every year they've had it except last year.  It was a perfect morning for a race.  Beautiful skies, warm with a slight breeze.  Gorgeous.  Vaughn had a race way up north today so Terra was kind enough to come to the race just to watch my kids.  Seriously, running buddies don't get better than her.  

Since the Run for Rett is a charity event to raise money for the Northwest Rett Syndrome Foundation it brings out a different crowd than your typical local 5k event.  I'm pretty familiar with most of the gals in the area who can beat me, but there were so many people there today that I didn't know that it was difficult to judge how I would do.

The crowd did bring out a lot of people that I know from church since the race director and I sort of go to church together (same religion, different congregations) and so it was so fun to catch up with a lot of people I don't see often.

Some of my favorite racing buddies, Martinho and Andy were there and it was fun to talk to them pre race.  They both have their racing heads on much straighter than I do so it's always great to hear words of advice from the masters.  

The course was a little difficult, the first mile and a half was downhill, and after a 180 degree turnaround the last mile and a half was very uphill with a lot of tight turns in the last quarter mile.  It wasn't a direct out and back so we didn't run down quite the same hills we ran up.  

As the race started I realized that my legs, okay, honestly it was my lungs, were in no condition to be racing a 5k.  I haven't done tempos or speed work aimed at shorter distances in months and I knew that my recent marathon was going to come into play when we hit the uphill, though I have to admit I didn't realize quite how uphill it was going to be!

I started out a little fast, but then I realized that since I was going to completely die on the uphill either way I might as well push it a little on the downhill and build as much of a buffer as I could.  I was the first female at the turnaround, but only by about 10 seconds.  It was fun to hear shouts of encouragement from Martinho, Andy (who said "Don't give up!" which is exactly what I needed to hear because I was contemplating it) and many other friends as we passed each other.  

I really, really died on the uphill.  It was very difficult and at the same time I started having to watch out for the 3k  walkers.  They were all very kind and got out of the way, but I did have to veer very wide at one point because of some walkers with their dogs on retractable leashes that weren't paying attention (they weren't part of the event at all).  

Martinho, who I'm usually able to beat at races, passed me on the uphill looking very strong.  The steeper the hill the better he runs.  I think he's part mountain goat.  He reminded me to keep pushing and working hard.  I could hear the other woman was right behind me and I didn't have any wiggle room.  We hit the gravel path with all the corners and I just didn't have enough left in the tank to be quick on the more technical section.  She passed me and beat me by about 10 seconds.  

I finished in 22:12 - which is far from remarkable for me. 

Yet again I had such mixed feelings about the race for a long time because thanks to all the encouragement I did not give up and I know I did the best that I had today.  However there was a part of me that was very discouraged that my best isn't better.  Honestly, even if I had blown my PR out of the water I would probably still feel that little bit of me wanting to do better.  What a double edged sward that is - that little part of my brain encourages me to continue to work hard and do better, but makes it hard to enjoy successes.

I am still happy to be second overall, but it was difficult to get passed in sight of the finish line for the second time this year and come in as the second woman.  (The St. Patty's day 10k was the other time.)  

But since I'm about to start some serious 5k training I now have an excellent baseline of my fitness to work off.  And the thing that kept running through my mind all morning was yet another quote from the book Running Within (seriously folks, it's amazing):

Many athletes have run a series of progressively slower races prior to a major personal best.  Olympic gold medalist Joan Benoit Samuelson, before her 1983 Boston Marathon victory, ran a serious of marathons ranging from 2:30-2:37, each one slower than the previous attempt.  This would discourage the best of us -- but not Joan.  Learning from each experience running a splendid world-record performance that year at Boston in 2:22:43.  By the way, her near suicidal pace (5:27 per mile) would have won every men's Olympic marathon up to 1960.

Now, I recognize that there are a few minor differences between me and Joan, but I love the reminder that (again from the book) although a delay of gratification is difficult to contend with, you will be rewarded for your persistence if you get up just one more time than you fall.

Yes, it is so frustrating to constantly feel like I'm running slower and slower, to feel like I have so much more trapped in me that I am unable to release.  Maybe I just haven't found the right combination yet, but I will get there.  I know that I can do this.  With the right race, the right day, and the right training, that sub 20 5k will be mine.  I just have to be patient and not give up.

After my race was over Tyler participated in the kids 1/4 mile race.  Henry was going to do it, but he backed out, as usual, at the last minute (he really doesn't do well in crowds, he's so shy).  

Tyler has come a long way in his running in the last year or so.  Not necessarily in his fitness, but in his confidence level.  He's not nearly as competitive as Henry (which is one of the reasons it makes it so difficult for Henry to run these kids races as a small guy, he just knows he won't win, wonder where he gets that from...) and Tyler used to just run at the back of the pack watching everyone.  But now he has more confidence and works so hard.  

He was so proud of himself when he finished and was so proud that he was able to pass a bunch of kids (I didn't say he wasn't competitive, just that he wasn't as competitive as Henry.).  He loved his participants medal that he got for finishing and as he put it "working hard and not giving up".

I really love that kid.

He ended up "tying for third" (he really got fourth, but they messed up the results a little and gave him a medal anyway).  

He was so excited to get his name called and to hear everyone cheer for him as he got his 3rd place award.  

The entire morning was worth it just to hear how excited he was and how proud he was of himself.  He totally had a runners high.  

This event is always really well organized, stuffed full of fantastic happy smiling participants and volunteers, beautiful Rett girls, and incredible prizes.  Along the course this year they had pictures of girls who had Rett Syndrome and their glowing faces were so motivating.  It is so easy to forget what an amazing blessing a healthy body is.  I could never give up on a 5k with those smiling faces looking at me.

A forgotten race, new shoes, and Turkish food

Apparently a month or two ago I signed up for a 5k this weekend, and then I completely and totally forgot about it!!  So surprise!  I guess I'm racing this weekend!  I was debating whether or not to run this race, not remembering I had already registered, and was leaning towards not racing because of the whole recovering from a marathon and having another half marathon next weekend business.  

I'm pretty excited for it though.  I wish I was in better shape, I really love a good fast 5k, but I haven't had time to worry about it or train for it so I guess I'll just go and do the best I can and see what happens!  Good thing Terra was hanging around the running store yesterday when they were doing packet pickup or I would have totally wasted the entry fee!

I drug my family all the way to Seattle today - from where we live that's no easy task - especially in weekend traffic.  All for a pair of shoes: 

I know, these look identical to the Ghost 6's I've been wearing since the Newport marathon, but I promise this is a brand spankin' new pair!  I would do a sole to sole comparison for you, but that would require me getting of the couch, and hey, I'm trying to save my legs for my race tomorrow!  

Okay, I'll confess, I'm really just way too lazy to stand up right now.

Anyway, this beautiful pair comes to me courtesy of onlineshoes.com and Brooks Running as a little preview of the amazing party I get to go to after the Rock 'n' Roll Seattle Marathon.  I can't wait.

Since we were already in the area we decided to hang out with my sister Stephanie and her husband Mark.  But we had some time to kill while we waited for them to get off work so we headed to a park nearby.

Once Steph and Mark got off work we headed to a Turkish restaurant they've been raving about (the name of which I've already completely forgotten).  

When we got to our table Tyler exclaimed "Look Mom!  They have hats for all of us!"

Apparently we don't take them out much. 

The food was absolutely incredible.  

You'd better believe we ate every since bite of all that food, and the two appetizers and dessert aren't even pictured!  It was so amazing.  Vaughn has a race on the fourth of July that literally goes down the street this restaurant is on - so we'll be back soon.  

Now time to go run up and down my house again in my usual pre race outfit/shoe picking out ritual while Vaughn rolls his eyes at me while I ask him "Does this outfit look too fast?  I don't have good speed legs right now so I don't want to look too fast."

He's a lucky guy. 

Losing the Spirit of the Marathon

Last night Vaughn and I went to see Spirit of the Marathon II.

The second installment was only in theaters for one showing last night.  But if you haven't seen the first one, I highly recommend it. In fact I recommend it so much I'm going to make it easy for you - here it is:

The very first time I watched this movie was four years ago next week.  It was two nights before my very first half marathon ever.  I was leaving the next day to spend the night in a hotel up in Seattle for the Seattle Rock 'n' Roll Half and I was a bundle of nerves.  I saw this movie on Netflix and knew it was the perfect thing to watch.

I was completely intoxicated by the seemingly magical feat of a marathon.  At the time I didn't even know if I could complete a half marathon, but I was so enthralled that when I went to the race expo the next day I signed up for the next year's full marathon because I knew I needed to do it.  

Fast forward to last night.  As I sat in the theater waiting for the second movie my feelings were so different from the first.  After 5 marathons I have lost the magic, or the spirit, of the marathon.  I have lost that feeling of euphoria that comes with completing something that made you dig far deeper than you thought you were going to need to and even farther than you thought possible.  

I have lost the desire.  And as I sat there in that movie theater last night I was terrified that I was going to get it back.  I was terrified that it would inspire me to run another marathon.  

As I watched the movie a strange feeling came over me.  It wasn't motivation, but disappointment.  It's been creeping in for the last week and a half, but tonight last night it settled in my gut.

I am extremely disappointed in myself.  

If I had run a 4:08 marathon in Newport giving it everything I had I would be satisfied.  Even though it is a full 33 minutes slower than the same race in 2012.  But the truth is I did not.  I gave up on myself. I knew it then, and I know it now. 

I know all too well how deep you have to dig in a marathon, and it scared me.  Not because I couldn't do it, but because I didn't want to.  I gave up on myself.  I didn't believe in myself.  

I was so afraid of failure I didn't give myself a chance to succeed. 

In the book Running Within it says:

What's lost by not trying and what's lost by not succeeding are two very different things.

I have had lots of times where I've lost by not succeeding, but this is the first time I've really, really lost by not trying.  One comes with a confidence in knowing that although my goal was not reached I gave it my very best and it is enough, which occurred in Newport 2012, and the other comes with the wonder of what would would have happened if you had given your best.  

Does this mean I'm going to try another marathon?  No.  At least not in the next couple years.  I really think I need some distance from these emotions before I try again.  I blurred some very important distinctions.  

Again from Running Within: 

There's a huge difference between needing to win and wanting to win.

That right there pretty much describes my quest for a Boston Qualifying time.  It became something I needed to prove instead of wanting to do it to improve.  And the burden of that distinction is heavy and became so much to bear that as I was running well the first half of the race I crumbled to the point where I was wheezing and having difficulty breathing.  

My body is fine.  But my mind is not.  I need to work back up to the marathon distance just like a beginner would.  But instead of needing to work up to it physically I need to work up to it mentally.  

So again, will I run another marathon someday?  Probably.  I mean I can't imagine being satisfied with my 9 seconds short of a BQ forever.  But I want to continue to enjoy running, have some successes, and find myself a little bit before I return or I might ruin running for myself forever.  

Recovery Woes and Skillet Penne

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

I'm going slightly insane as I "rest" and "recover".  It is so hard to be able to do a little bit, but not my full workouts.  Apparently I'm never satisfied.  I complain when my workouts are hard, and now I'm complaining when I don't get to work out hard.

Today I did three of the 8 minute videos.  While none of them are overly strenuous (which is why I kept doing another one) I realized at the end that if I'm really going to stick to rest and recovery I probably shouldn't hop on the bike trainer for a half hour as I had previously planned.

I know - the trials of my life are just too much to bear.

For dinner tonight I made a recipe that I tried for the first time this weekend when my family was over.

Skillet Penne with Turkey Sausage, Sun-Dried Tomatoes, and Spinach

If you're not a huge fan of sun dried tomatoes (I'm not really) don't worry, they're not overwhelming.  I promise.  This dish is really reminds me of the Zuppa Toscana soup that so many love.

2 teaspoons olive oil
1 pound sweet or hot Italian turkey sausage, casings removed
3 garlic cloves, minced
2 1/2 cups low-sodium chicken broth
2 cups water
1/2 cup oil-packed sun-dried tomatoes, rinsed and chopped fine
Salt and pepper
8 ounces (2 1/2 cups) penne (I used mini penne to pack in the pasta)
6 ounces (6 cups) baby spinach
1 ounce Parmesan cheese, grated

Heat oil in skillet over medium high heat.  Add sausage and cook, breaking up, until no longer pink.  Stir in garlic and cook until fragrant.

Stir in broth, water, sun-dried tomatoes, 1/2 teaspoon salt and pasta.  Cook at vigorous simmer, stirring often, until pasta is tender and sauce has thickened.  15-18 minutes

Stir in spinach, one handful at a time, and cook until wilted.  Stir in parmesan (I just served it on the side).

Super easy.  Super delicious.  My kids don't love it, but the noodles alone are acceptable to them.

A snapshot in my life

I was planning on resuming my training today.  But I got an e-mail from my coach this morning letting me know that although I'm tempted to start working hard I need to take it easy a little longer to keep from compromising my next training cycle.  

When I'm told directly like that I guess there is no avoiding it.  

Easy runs are hypnotic and relaxing in a way that I never feel when I'm more focused on my workout.  Runners have the unique ability to quietly move through the world without much notice and I'm often amazed at the brief snapshots of people that I get as I run. 

The woman embracing a soldier.  Has he been gone for months or merely hours?  

The older gentleman sitting on a low stool caring for his still immaculate yard.  I can tell he truly loves it.  

The mother picking her excited child from daycare chatting away about his grand adventures of the day.

A house with a huge dumpster out front and paint cans stacked against the garage.  I am sure they are excited about their "new" old house.

A woman looking sullen as she waits for the bus.  Is she sad, or bored, or just too uncomfortable to look up?

A group of middle school boys walking home from school trying to hide their boyish antics as I run by.  

The glazed and dull look in the eyes of the group standing outside the substance abuse treatment center smoking.  

A driver zooming by fast.  Is he late for something or just in the habit of hurrying?  

A pile of baby stuff on the corner with a "for free" sign on it.  Do they mourn days gone past or are they excited to clear the space?

A cyclist passes and we exchange a look knowing that we see the world differently than the average person. 

When I arrive back home I sit in the grass.  Just in the course of a short easy 5k run I can encounter so many different people doing so many different things.  

I can't help but think about all the things I've seen and wonder what snapshots they see of me in that brief moment where our paths cross and we enter each others lives.

Accepting Running Buddy Applications

Tomorrow begins a new era in my running.  A marathon free era.

So many decisions I have to make.  

Do I keep working with my coach?
Terra is still focusing on marathons.  It's her strength.  That means we're headed slightly different directions for awhile.  Meaning that if I work with my coach I won't really have a group to split the cost with.  Unfortunately without that I am not sure I can justify the cost of the coach (not that he's not worth it, but the worth of something and the affordability of something are totally different).  

What kind of training plan should I use?

I am someone that needs a plan to follow.  Whether I'm training for a specific race or not I just like having a plan.  Feeling like I'm working towards something.  I'm leaning towards using my trusty old Run Less Run Faster book and the 5k plan in there. That book and I have gone through a lot together, and although I was sick of the plans for awhile I may possibly be ready to do them again.  I really thrived on their plans. 

I need 5k running buddies!

Again, Terra and I are going different directions with our running for awhile.  Chances are we'll end up doing something together again soon, but she wants to find another marathon to try and get that BQ and I don't.  I've had a running buddy working towards the same goals and same races as me for a long time.  I don't know if I'll be able to survive without it.  Meaning I need a new running buddy pronto.  I'm kind of a high maintenance running buddy, it's not an easy job.  But above all I need someone to push me and make me run when I don't want to (spoiler alert: the half hour before it's time to run I never feel like running).

It's like an animal who has been in captivity for too long.  They lose the ability to survive in the wild.  I feel the same way.  I've been blessed to have the most amazing running buddies the past few years.  That's one major, major reason I kept running marathons knowing I didn't love them.  I don't know if I have the ability to survive in the wild! 

We'll see how long I survive without them.  I might end up caving and doing another marathon (heaven help me if I do!) just to get my buddies back. 

Chicken and Cheese Quesadillas

Warm weather has arrived in Washington State and I am loving it!!!  Well, I didn't love it so much when I ended up doing my 5 mile run at 2 o'clock in the afternoon yesterday (it was only 72 degrees, but we've already discussed that I'm a heat wuss).  But luckily today's workout will be a repeat of Tuesday's workout - which is perfect for the heat:

It does not get better than swimming in the lake on a nice summer day.  The water is still a little cold, and I have absolutely no natural buoyancy so I'm still wearing a wetsuit in the water.  I can't believe I didn't know the joys of open water swimming until last year.  What a waste all the previous years were.

Instead of boring you all with how awesome the lake is and how much I love it I thought I'd share one of my favorite quick, kid friendly, super easy to make recipes that I make often when I've spent longer at the lake than I should and need to produce a dinner quick.  Plus it's super delicious.  Make these.  You won't regret it.

Chicken and Cheese Quesadillas

2 tablespoons vegetable oil
2 cups shredded chicken
1 teaspoon taco seasoning
'6 ounces shredded mexican cheese blend (1 1/2 cups)
1/2 cup salsa
1/4 cup minced jarred pickled jalapenos (optional)
Tortillas

Heat oven to 450 degrees.  Brush baking sheet with olive oil.  Combine chicken, taco seasoning, cheese, salsa and jalapenos in a bowl.

Spread chicken filling over half of each tortilla.  Fold tortillas in half over filling and press firmly to compact.  Lay on prepared baking sheet and brush tops with oil.

Bake until tops begin to brown, about 10 minutes.  Flip quesadillas over and continue to bake until crisp and golden on second side, about 5 minutes.  Let cool slightly before serving.

Serve with sour cream, guacamole and salsa.

Variation: Substitute 1 (15 oz) can rinsed black beans and 1/2 cup frozen corn, thawed, for chicken.  Mash 1/3 of beans before adding to filling.

Things I do: 
I usually use the uncooked tortillas and it works perfectly.  I haven't ever used regular cooked tortillas on this recipe so I can't vouch for that.  The uncooked ones are the best so don't bother.  Seriously.

I usually just use a can of chicken because I'm totally lazy.  But you can use a rotisserie chicken or by all means, make your own chicken.  Or you could use fish.  Fish would be good too. 

I usually just use cheddar cheese because I always have a block on hand. 

Sometimes I add the corn and beans without taking out the chicken because I like all of it.